i just realised that.

i can get pretty psychotic at times. consuming pills, cutting my wrists, banging my head against the wall continuously (it still hurts right now), but at the end of the day, i'm still me.

as long as i stay genuine and true to myself, i'll get through it.

i don't have to define myself as being an emo-shit bitchfuck (yet), but neither do i have to declare myself one of the strongest emotionally amongst my friends - obviously those who've known me longer would agree that this statement is probably the most impossible statement in the whole universe.

BUT.

i'm still young, and i don't want myself to be judged in any way.

at least not for now.

back to the story: 

had a long talk with baby just now. everything's okay now. everything's okay.. nothing is ever perfect, and i'm aware of the fact that i can't achieve perfection, but everything's okay. and i'm cool with that.

i love you, muhammad saiful bin saimen. :)

i wonder if this throbbing headache will go away..