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i want somebody to kill me;
will you?
.
mytsandws. ♥
Shareefah.

Sharifah Raihanah

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sharifah raihanah
sherryfah. (sha. shar. shai. nana.)
foreign bodies. ex-asc. fcps. rss. nyp/sbm - media studies & management. cotton on. cancer. hates her own kind, including you.

sharaihanah@hotmail.com

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Tuesday, June 23, 2009
"caught against the wall "



i caught myself

down to you
you're pushing and pulling me down to you
but i don't know what i
now when i caught myself, i had to stop myself
i'm saying something that i should have never thought
now when i caught myself, i had to stop myself
i'm saying something that i should have never thought of you

of you
you're pushing and pulling me down to you
but i don't know what i want
no i don't know what i want

you got it, you got it
some kind of magic
hypnotic, hypnotic
you're leaving me breathless
i hate this, i hate this
you're not the one i believe in
with God as my witness

now when i caught myself, i had to stop myself
i'm saying something that i should have never thought
now when i caught myself, i had to stop myself
i'm saying something that i should have never thought of you

of you
you're pushing and pulling me down to you
but i don't know what i want
no i don't know what i want

don't know what i want
but i know it's not you
keep pushing and pulling me down
but i know in my heart it's not you (ohh..)

now when i caught myself, i had to stop myself
i'm saying something that i should have never thought
now when i caught myself, i had to stop myself
i'm saying something that i should have never thought of you
i knew, i know in my heart it's not you
i know, i never know what i want, i want, i want
oh no, i should have never thought

- paramore


you make me regret living.


(credits to mary aljoferi for introducing this song to me. lol!)


-----


i'm confused.
i don't know what's happening to my life.
i'm liking random people at random times.
and i know.

i know that the only way to stop these mixed feelings. is to get over him. everybody's right. i deserve better. right..? and besides, i guess it's the only way to end with a happily ever after. i mean, even if we do get back together, it won't necessarily mean it'll end with a happily ever after right? and if i don't get back with him, it doesn't mean it won't end with a happily ever after right...? sigh. i don't know what i'm talking about anymore.

hidayah. says: (4:49:24 PM)
hey relax kay..kau tgk lah. even when u want to buat baik with him, he's still like this. seriously not worth it sey sha..

=/

i regretted 5th june 07.
i regret it so much right now.
"kenangan indah" your fucking head.
your fucking flat head.
seriously.


to the person who created the S.I. units and such:
when is enough, enough?

-----

O. M. G.

i feel like doing so many damn things right now.

i want to kiss a girl.
i want to get attached to a girl.
i want to go clubbing.
i want to watch lady gaga with mary.
i want to dance.

but most of all...

i want to hurt somebody, so much right now. these intense feelings that i'm experiencing right now. to hurt him. it's overwhelming. much more than i have ever wanted to hurt any other. it's almost crazy, though. because we were best friends before all this started. and now i hate myself. for allowing a friendship so pure and beautiful. to end up like shit.

like fucking shit.

today.
i promise myself today.
that i'll move on.
that i'll hate you.
that's not what you want.
that's what i want.
like, finally?

all those times i tried protecting you and ended up hurting you instead. all those times we misunderstood each other. imma forget, but i won't forgive.

i know that i'll end up in hell anyway.
so there's no point in forgiving you.
when i don't want to. 
kan kan kan..... IKAN(fish)! hahaha.


julie jeff + hidayah. thanks for being here. i don't know what i'd do without you two.



i can't wait for 3rd july!
mingi, you better not have forgotten!
i'm going to be so wild, i'm going to be wilder than wild. ;D




boys(and girl), please do take note: i am currently in the process of recovering from a break up, so whatever i say, whatever i do, whatever i blog, may not necessarily be the truth. sigh. i know i'm a bitch. but i do have feelings. i do.

i'm just trying to numb myself for now.


mummy,  i want to get wilder, can?

I NAK iPHONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!



i thought and wondered at 3:50 PM