sometimes, i feel like
running away.
iunno from who.
iunno to where.
but i just feel like it.
fuck, iunno why it's such a big deal to you guys. if they can accept it, why can't you?
ica to do.
test tomorrow.
tears are rolling.
baik ah sha. baik.
baby, i'm so sorry for snapping like that just now. i have a lot on my mind. and i guess i was disappointed and tired too. and you have my heart too.. cross my heart.. (:
p/s: doreen, i'm sorry.
- edited -
and i just remembered how badly i failed dfvp test. and the promise that i made myself before entering poly. i remember how i made promises to everybody. i remember how much i didn't want to let go of myself.
but look at me now.
as those harsh words hit my heart.
i cry; even harder than my hardest before.
because i realise that it's true. that i've been worrying all of you. your efforts were futile. they've all been in vain. each and every single one of you have been trying to remind me that i'm changing. but i didn't want to accept it..
and now that i've finally completed the transformation..
i realise that i've changed for the worse. and those who know. those who know will know how much i've changed. from the very first day of orientation til now. the events that have occurred. they've moulded me into something beyond recognition.
but it's time to step back into reality.
i've got my friends.
i've got myself.
and i've got my baby.
i'll have to make this work. one way or another.
i will.
...won't i?
i thought and wondered at 10:11 PM
