my thoughts and wonders.

i want somebody to kill me;
will you?

mytsandws. ♥

Create your badge

sharifah raihanah
sherryfah. (sha. shar. shai. nana.)
foreign bodies. ex-asc. fcps. rss. nyp/sbm - media studies & management. cotton on. cancer. hates her own kind, including you.

sharaihanah@hotmail.com

Free MusicFamily Tree

here right now

mytsandws - my thoughts and wonders (:
i believe in spreading the ♥. (:
oh, and i love .

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

July 2006
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
November 2011

Designer: lublub lovable
Basecodes: Kary-yan/Missyan.
Hosts: x o x>

Friday, September 25, 2009

"rehab, s.i. "

physically tired.

emotionally strained.

mentally exhausted.

i'm really in no mood to try to cover up anything anymore. i don't see why i should try to please any of you. i know how it's like to be rejected by a person you love. because i'm going through that exact sort of pain right now. so perhaps there's no point of me trying to be nice to you. somebody's not being nice to me at all. and besides, all of us know that it's impossible between the two of us. period.

for now, listen to this song.

because it's for you.

rehab

baby, baby, when we first met
i never felt something so strong
you were like my lover and my best friend
all wrapped into one, with a ribbon on it

and all of a sudden, you went and left
i didn't know how to follow, it's like a shot
that spun me around and now my heart's dead
i feel so empty and hollow

and i'll never give myself to another, the way i gave it to you
don't even recognize the ways you hit me, do you?
it's gonna take a miracle to bring me back
and you're the one to blame

and now i feel like, oh, you're the reason why i'm thinking
i don't wanna smoke on these cigarettes no more
i guess this is what i get for wishful thinking
i should've never let you into my door

next time you wanna go on and leave
i should just let you go on and do it
cause now i'm using like i bleed

it's like i checked into rehab
baby, you're my disease
it's like i checked into rehab
baby, you're my disease

i gotta check into rehab
cause baby, you're my disease
i gotta check into rehab
cause baby, you're my disease

damn, ain't it crazy when your love slams?
you'll do anything for the one you love
cause anytime that you needed me, i'd be there
it's like you were my favorite drug

the only problem is that you was using me
in a different way that i was using you
but now that i know, it's not meant to be
you gotta go, i gotta win myself off of you

now ladies, gimme that
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
oh, now gimme that
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

now ladies, gimme that
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
oh, now gimme that
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

- rihanna

sap, remember when i was depressed last time? the three things i'd do were either to cut my wrists, eat pills or to stretch until it hurt. until it fucking hurt. and yesterday, i didn't have a sharp enough blade with me. i couldn't eat pills because i had to wake up early for dance. so i stretched.

i stretched for 5 hours.

for those who've seen me stretch, imagine me being 10 times more vigorous and violent with my own body.

and yes, i'm at home, blogging, because my left ligament is hurting like fuck. even lying down straight hurts now. that explains the tossing and turning, and eventually sleeping at about 8am. and sleeping late also explains why i couldn't meet my bestfriend. and now is the time where i apologize profusely. sigh.

i'm sorry julie jeff.

for holding you up.

for not answering your calls or replying your texts.

because my cellphone was on silent mode.

sorry for "not having time for you anymore".

i've been facing a lot.

i know that's not an excuse.

but i really am sorry.

i love you babygirl. ♥

i will still have to go to our class chalet later on, though. because i need an escape. and today is the perfect night for an escape. (:

i need a familiar hug.

one's not in town.

one's supposed to be away.

one's not talking to me.

one's busy with work.

"feel it comin' in the air

and the screams from everywhere

i'm addicted to the thrill

it's a dangerous love affair"

i have the sudden urge to meet you.

i thought and wondered at 4:28 PM