1. i know my face looks fucked-up there. i was holding in my laughter! hahaa!

2. i know "i shouldn't post up full-length picture of myself anymore" but i think this picture is really nice, and fuck what you think.

3. perhaps a major reason why he ever got me for 2 years was because he is the only guy to grasp and understand the fact that i'm really sensitive about how i look and he was the only one to never say anything about how fat i look.

he never said i was mampat.

he never said i was fat.

he never said i was "berisi".

even if the first and third lines are usually better than being a stick-thin biatch.

because he knew how sensitive i was about this, and he took every effort to make me feel okay about it. he sang me praises even though i knew they were untrue. he avoided this topic because it made us fight a lot. he made me feel like the most beautiful creature on earth, even when i was wearing my nerd-glasses (yes, i wear glasses in case you didn't know), and even when my hair was all frizzy and shitty and even when my face was oily and even when i was dressed up like a nyonya, because i know he truly loved me for who i was. yes, was.

maybe i'm just being picky about who i want to be with.

but what i know is that what A DARLING FRIEND OF MINE said is true.

sigh.

i am not making sense.

OH, GO AHEAD, CRITIC THAT PICTURE. i'm going to privatise this blog anyway. so enjoy criticising me while you can. ugh. if it makes you happy so much, i might as well gain some goodwill by making you happy. haha.

p/s: pictures of ida's performance outing will be posted up soon! (:

p/s 2: i hope this entry doesn't make anything awkward over the phone. i just needed to say it, but i couldn't say it over the phone. sigh.