you know, the funny thing about me, is that iunno what i'm doing right now.
iunno what i'm doing with my life.
as in, seriously.
i always thought i had an idea of what i'm doing. of who i'm falling for, of where i'm going in life, of what i want to do next. but right now, everything seems so blurry that when i force myself to think of the future, it hurts. the unfortunate truth about my life right now, is that when i force everything to end up so perfectly, i end up either hurting myself, or others. (but most of the time it's both myself and others.) =.=
iunno when this will change.
iunno if it'll ever change.
sigh.
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i slept over at mary's on sunday night. it was a suicide mission, really. i went straight to mary's after work ended, and we changed to immediately go jogging/running. we ended up circling pasir ris. i swear to Allah, we jogged a long way. where? we jogged to pasir ris park, through it, through downtown east, and back to her house.
i love jogging.
i realise i miss jogging with somebody i can talk to.
i used to do that before. almost every fortnight, with sap. but then things went awkwardly wrong, and then i din have anybody to jog with. i'm okay with the thought of jogging alone. but the thought of all the foreign workers in my neighbourhood scare the shit out of me. especially because i have the habit of jogging at night. because i have a thing against the sun's scorching heat. it pisses the crap out of me, gets my face flushed, and makes my skin turn all reddish and irritated (no, not to the point of it being sunburnt. just, a step earlier.)
but anyway, you get what i mean. i miss jogging with ida during healthy lifestyle, but her stamina is unbelievably long-lasting, and i'd always feel bad if i couldn't keep up with her. :( most of the time we ended up skipping healthy lifestyle, though. we'd sit in level 6's handicap toilet the whole hour - camwhoring and gossiping.
hahaha.
ahh.. yes, yes.
those were the days.. (:
anyway, the sleepover was fun much? but i strongly feel that laptops should be banned at sleepovers. mary and i were practically doing our own things on our lappies. i was web-camming with mairah the whole way through, though. (:
yesterday was a fun fun day.
imma be looking forward to fun days this week. i mean it. heheheeee.
