you know how sometimes you can avoid thinking of something just to not think of that something?
i can't do that now.
the funny thing about this whole situation is that, i can't find a solid reason for why i'm actually bothered by it at all. cause, we both knew we weren't going to work out. and both of us tried before. but trying can be exhausting. and i'm not one to tolerate exhaustion easily.
my heart's heavy. and the thing that's bringing it down is myself.
as much as it hurts letting you go, i know i should. it's the rightful thing to do. because no matter how much i whine or complain or cry, the only way i can find happiness is if i actually do something about it myself. and in this case, as like most cases, letting go seems to be the easiest and best-for-all thing to do.
with you though, i lied the most.
crying at work is such a taboo, that i only broke it for him, once.
but i cried for you as well.
that should mean something, shouldn't it?
one thing's for sure. i've lived this life enough to know that the best way of showing that you love somebody is by letting go. that is, if both you and that person are hurting like fuck. then yes, let go.
vomited again yesterday.
after today's lunchtime i will vomit again.
i know i will.
oh and bitch, you don't know shit about me. so just shut the fuck up you ugly spoilt brat.
have a nice day.
p/s: in a relationship, effective & efficient communication is important. that's why a relationship is so taxing. you can't just not talk to somebody for days or weeks and expect that somebody to know exactly what's on your mind when you finally do talk to that person.
i thought and wondered at 8:48 AM
