as i was clearing the mess out of my room yesterday, i went through all the things that were in it. though it slowed down the cleaning process by a lot, i guess i managed to relive some of those memories that i used to hold on dearly to.
everything i touched had a connection to him.
about 2 hours into looking through my stuff, syamil said: "sap pampered you like hell uh. he bought you a fucking lot of stuff sia."
that's when i realised, fuck.
everything around me was from him.
my 3 pink balls - don't get me wrong, continue reading to understand, please.
- the hotpink table tennis ball
- the pink bouncy ball
- the babypink reebok gym ball
- my pink yoga mat
- my too-big-to-miss pink bearbear. (which if you knew how to read my archives, you'd be able to see.
- my pink everyday file which he had a matching orange one. (see, orange is his favourite colour, so we had a lot .)
- the pink box that he put the dress which i wanted in as one of our monthsary(s).
all because he knew i loved pink like crazy.
perhaps syamil didn't realise, but i was looking for the timetable that he copied manually for me. the last time i looked at it i hid it in one of my files, which is why i was painfully looking through each and every file of mine. (i couldn't remember which it was in.) i din find it. because i was rushed for time. and then i came across that fateful file. which made me even more pissed off and sad.
i shouldn't be typing here.
i miss you.
a lot.
- edited -
sap, you don't deserve to be missed a single fucking bit. you're a bitch who should suck your own balls. go to fucking hell, please. stop acting as if you're a fucking saint because you're not. and oh? who was the person who used to be so against mat reps? and you said that i've changed into a minah? oh gawd. look what we have here, the pot calling the kettle black. since you're a mat rep now. urgh. bye bitch.
