i gave you too much time.
i thought you were different.
i know now that you're not.
i'd be a bitch if i said "i have to move on" now, only because i know that i already have.
i'll miss you.
i've already been missing you from the second time we met. when you just took the bus and left. but you wanted things to always go your way. and i guess i'm not prepared to sacrifice everything in my life for something that i know would probably not work out. you knew how much i hated it when you shoved me towards him. perhaps you never knew how much i hated it. i guess you got what you wanted. me away from you.
this new path i'm walking on, iunno where it'll lead me.
i have no idea if i'll end up happy.
i have no idea if this is the best for me.
but there's no way of telling, ey?
that's what makes love exciting and thrilling, yes?
we should meet next year. and laugh everything off. because i know that i'll probably be happier than i am now, next year. and that'll be the best for both of us. if we're both just happy and laidback. things won't be so strained. things won't be so fake. things will be as though we're just friends.
tell me why i have a feeling that we'll be bestfriends?
i know you'll be reading this, by the way.
i know.
- edited -
the noise at home. it's unbearable. thank you, syamil, for being there with me the whole day today. i wouldn't know how to handle it if i were alone. i'd probably just have walked out of the house. literally.
i know i'm hurting my mum.
but does she know that she's hurting me?
hurting my sister?
i can't do this anymore. it hurts.
and you. you adult you. hahah. thank you for making me smile. even while i was crying. thank you for letting me know that somebody cares. that somebody is actually worrying about me. that somebody wants me to be happy. that somebody loves me. (:
it's late and you're sleeping.
i should probably sleep too.
goodnight.
p/s: what i wanted to say was, those three words.
