don't care what other people say
i know you fool around all day
now it doesn't hurt me anyway
i am alright (ohh..)
and when the day turns into night
i'm in a club forgetting you and i
and when i think of how you treated me
you proved me right
the music is making me growing
the only thing that keeps me awake is me knowing
there's no one here to break me or bring me down
and no one here to hurt me or fool around
i have no more time for you to hurt my feelings
done enough to prove i'm all that i believe in
we are at the end - no more stupid lies
i'm better off without you here by my side
so now there is no longer you and i - you and i
you and i - you and i
you and i - you and i
you and i
there is no longer you and i - you and i
you and i - you and i
you and i - you and i
you and i
- medina (radio edit/spencer & hill remix)
right back at you.
-----
the original (radio edit) is probably much nicer for those of you who don't enjoy listening to this kind of music. well, i used to be you. but this particular version holds a lot of meaning for me. and it holds the very essence of the countdown that's on this webpage. nyeahaha. ;)
anyhoo, if you want to hear the radio edit (which after i've heard more than 5 times, think it's actually on par with the spencer & hill remix), just click next on this webpage's music player. (:
as of this moment, i have 23 minutes more to go.
i am fucking scared.
beyond fucking, actually.
meeting (he-who-should-not-be-named) and nobody understands the fear that's running through me right now. nobody will ever understand the mix of emotions that i'm undergoing, unless you've been through what i have. and if you don't know a fuck about me, i swear to God, shut the fucking hell up, before you suffer 10 times worse. you have no fucking right to go: "oh, chill. it's just your ex."
everybody knows i am bi-polar.
though only close friends know truly, how bi-polar i am.
when i'm with him, only when i'm with him (yes, i've not met anybody else who has the ability to do what he can), my emotions travel through rapids. except that the rapids aren't one-way. it's worse than a dryer machine. worse than a washing machine. iunno how to explain it, i guess? but from being fucking angry and pissed, i can in a split second, be happy and delighted when i'm with him. it works both ways, too.
13 minutes to go.
i should probably wash up now?
pee the anxiety away?
will that work?
i wonder.
i'll try updating later, if iun get too depressed.
goodbye darlings.
