why?

because everytime we fight, she manages to either make me smile so that we both lighten up or she so effortlessly makes me realise how much i love you. haha!

for example, remember that time when we were fighting like, really bad? we were at bukit panjang plaza or lot 1 (i can't remember since their basement carparks are really similar.) and though the day started well, we ended up fighting because i couldn't get to do something i wanted. and then you started being all bitchy (nyeh) and we weren't speaking the whole way to the carpark. and then when you tried starting bella she wouldn't start. and i couldn't help but laugh when you said: "okay, i'm sorry. see, even bella's on your side."

sidetrack: not trying to sound smug or anything, but bella is almost 99.9% of the time on my side. like you said, bad things happen to both you and bella when i'm pissed/sad/hurt by you. heh. ^^

and i absolutely love being on public transport with you, because i get to genuinely spend time with you, even while we're travelling.. i mean, remember our secondary school days? i practically fell in love with you because of the 911 rides and i've always loved how we always walked back home together just in time to catch the sunset every day. but when we're on bella, things just get better if we're fighting. i mean, of course most of the time this occurs because i cannot walk away and also, you have the ability to control the speed and acceleration of bella so i can hug you if you're going too fast.. but it's really because i get to cool down as the breeze rushes on my exposed skin.

and just like that, i'll (quote from mummy) "melt", and then things will be all fine and dandy between us again.

good thing? bad? i don't care.

i just really don't like wasting time fighting with you.

though i do start most of our fights.

like i've thought to myself before:

i mean, seriously? 5 years and a lot of shits has happened.

you cannot blame me for not thinking otherwise.

so yeah, i ♥ bella.

and i just realised i miss you, but i love you more.

and that's why i should never compare you to how you were in the past. because change is inevitable, but you are still you.

i love you, muhammad syamil bin bueari.

that, i know for sure.

that, i'll always know for sure.

i know even if there comes a day where we stop being together, these feelings won't end. i know this because for 2 years they were put on... hold. and even during those 2 years everytime we spoke to each other there'd be a burst of emotions waiting to take control of our lives again. eventually it did, ey?

i really cannot wait for next month. :D

toodles! (:

p/s: you're prolly going to read this through my cell, but i'm hoping you read this when we're having a fight so you'll go all: "awwwww...". haha. (: