standing at the bar with my friend olivia we were trying our best to catch up that's when he walked over said i'd like to get to know you but all i could say was look i'm sorry love
you see i've had difficulties too many times before and right now it's not really my thing he said just give me two minutes of your time and tell me what you like me to be offering
it's not that easy it's not that easy these days can't find a man to please me their lines are far too cheesy no boy is on a level believe me no boy is on a level believe me these days can't find a man to please me no boy is on a level believe me these days can't find a man to please me
you don't have to have a lot of money, all you've got to have is fire burning deep in your soul if you have a dream for something that you love i'll support you yeah i'll play my role
now i won't call you 20 times a day because i've got my own shit to do when you see my name flashing on your phone i want you to feel butterflies comin' on through
it's not that easy it's not that easy these days can't find a man to please me their lines are far too cheesy no boy is on a level believe me no boy is on a level believe me these days can't find a man to please me no boy is on a level believe me these days can't find a man to please me
now one thing i can't stand is arrogance there is no way we would ever get along but one thing i love is confidence and humility to know when you've been wrong
now i love a bad boy mentality but i don't want to be visiting no jail just know if there's someone out there mocking me be my gangster when its time to get real
it's not that easy it's not that easy these days can't find a man to please me their lines are far too cheesy no boy is on a level believe me no boy is on a level believe me these days can't find a man to please me no boy is on a level believe me these days can't find a man to please me
- katy b
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the thing is. i keep using PMS as an excuse everytime i get mad or moody. but trust me. some people have known me enough to know that it's just the way i roll. i am officially admitting it and saying it to your face. that it's not always PMS.
i act like i'm not sensitive, but damn fuck. i over-analyze every single shit that i see/hear/sense. it's not a fun thing to be doing, but i've been doing it for the whole 19 years of my life that it's become a subconscious habit. one that i can't shake off. well, at least not overnight.
now imma just be straightforward. to be having a (huge) crush for me is a total mistake if you don't have patience. i swear to God, you're just going to get hurt, over and over and over again. depending on how stubborn you are. but if you have patience, insyaAllah you'll move my heart from the ditch it's at now.
some people say it's cause "aku sombong". (heh.)
some people say it's cause i can't move on from my past.
i say it's cause you're not willing enough to help me move on. damnit.
and when it's between you and me? i always win.
i think i've stopped looking for love. just slowly absorbing everything that's being thrown at me, slowly digesting days, hours, minutes, seconds. my mind's been ticking so slow these days that i realise things at a much slower pace as compared to before the official split up. like just now, i turned to my mom and said: "mummy, yesterday was my birthday?"
i sounded almost relieved saying it.
i don't want to remember what happened yesterday.
because it's all fucked up shit.
the process of having to go to school and back. it's all just a complete waste of time, if you ask me. well, it's a waste of time if you slack in school. and that's exactly what i did. heh. convinced myself that i could do anything i wanted since it was my birthday. but come to think of it. it was a pretty fun day, wasn't it? hah.
gonna celebrate my birthday tomorrow with all my party people. and honestly? right now i just can't wait for it to be over. this is all bullshit. life's becoming bullshit yo.
and i wasn't even thinking of thatfunnystupidlilthingcalledlove when i typed that.